Updated: Aug 27, 2019
What do you do when someone who hasn't been very kind to you gets a huge win? What about if that person did everything in her power to ruin you and your reputation?
I say, you celebrate.
What? Celebrate? Are you crazy? Yeah, I get it. To be honest, that wouldn't have been my go to response a few years ago. Forgiveness is NOT something I do well. We all have our weaknesses, right? Well, that's mine. I hold a grudge. I can be bitter. I don't forget. I don't forgive easily.
As someone who helps other people grow, it took a lot of work...a LOT of work, for me to get to a point that I could celebrate the win of another person that was not kind to me.
But, here I am. This person just got a huge promotion. And, while I'm no longer even at the company, there's a part of me that is angry that their true colors have not been discovered by upper management. I try to be a good person. I work hard to be honest and authentic. When someone is deceitful and conniving toward me, I call foul.
Through my path of self discovery and my quest to be better, I've decided that karma is a real thing. And I don't mean that in a "she'll get hers one day" kind of attitude. I mean it more in the way that I only know a small part of this person. Perhaps our encounter was during a difficult period of her life. Perhaps I just happened to be that target. Perhaps she desperately needed this promotion for monetary or self esteem reasons. Perhaps she's a wonderful human who has done wonderful things and I just ran into her during a rough spell. Perhaps karma has taken over and she does deserve this win.
So, how do I celebrate this person? How can you celebrate the wins of someone who has done you wrong? I use these 3 strategies and they usually help.
1. I have faith that God is in control. There is a reason this person came into my life. She was here to teach me something. Perhaps that lesson was to watch who I trust, not sure. But I have faith that whatever I endured and whatever the outcome was, it was meant to be.
2. Separation. I can celebrate her wins because her wins do not affect me. Her big promotion doesn't affect me because I don't even work there anymore. So, why not send some positive vibes out to the world and to her? It's okay, lighting her candle doesn't extinguish my flame.
3. I understand that forgiveness is important. As hard as it is for me, I recognize that forgiving this person for their misgivings is good for my soul. It releases negativity from my spirit. I didn't say I will forget what was done to me, but I can forgive and move forward.
So, today, I sent this person a text and congratulated her on her accomplishment. The truth is, she worked very hard to reach this pinnacle in her career.
Today, I'm also giving myself some props as I've taken a huge step in self love and preservation. That single text helped to release so much negativity I was holding in. A big step for me and I'm proud that I was the bigger person.
What can you forgive today? How can you release yourself from the hold of negativity? How will this benefit you?
Send the text. Write a note. Say it out loud. You owe it to yourself to release the anger you feel. Celebrate everyone's wins.
Keep shining your own light.